Monthly Archives: September 2011

Accessory Envy

I have an accessory problem.  It started as shoes when I was very young.  There was a whole semester in high school where I was dared to go everyday without repeating the same pair of shoes.  And I did . . .  I even kept a journal of the shoes I wore on what day.  Kinda wish I knew where that was.  Man, I was crazy.

It grew into jewelry when I started to work for a jewelry store, and then eventually I got into coat and jackets.  Never got into purses, but I am young yet.  I have asked myself on several occasions if I really need to have all that I do.  Lets be honest, there are people out that don’t have shoes . . .   and I have hundreds.  Yes, I just said hundreds.  I actually have a shoe closet.  Don’t judge. 

I ridicule myself when I look through half a dozen pairs of black heals and still feel I don’t have the exact look for my outfit.  Or I look at a pair of black boots that are SOOOO different from anything I have, when I have 14 pairs.  Now . . .  one is patent leather, one are Docs, a pair of cowboy boots, knee-high suede, and then plain leather with a square toe and chunky heal, the biker boots, the ankle boots, the platforms . . . . the point is, they are all so different!!  Not interchangeable at all. 

And then you have to ask, am I justifying my old habits?

The jacket issue, I began to feel was a little ridiculous.  Last year I couldn’t fit into more than like four of them because of the weight I gained on crazy medication.  And I had all these gorgeous coats stuffed in the back of the front closet just sitting there.  How many you ask?  I have no idea. 

The major contributor to the bulk would be the light outerwear, transitional jackets.  I don’t have a lot of winter coats. Just a Pea Coat and a Columbia.  oh,. . . wait  . . .  full length cream wool, and the full length one from grandma . . .   nevermind.  Most are all for fall and spring accessorizing! 

Honestly, shamefully, we are talking dozens of jackets.  Maybe upwards of three dozen.  And even more shamefully, there are more jackets I would like to own.  I do not have a tradition trench.  I would LOVE to have one.  Where do you cut yourself off?

I am a deal hunter.  Many of the coats are second-hand or bought at steals. I am justifying myself again.  Ugh . . .   It really is silly on some levels.  I have  a whole bunch of jackets just for running!!  And I don’t even do that anymore!  I took a good hard look at them the other day asking myself if I could weed through them.  Nope . . .   at least not right now.

I have lost almost all the weight I gained and now fit back into my glorious collection!  So its kinda fun and a big deal right now as I plot my entire ensemble, coat included!!

And then, I have met a woman here at work. One of the residents, who has, it would seem, a similar problem.  I think a much worse problem.  And I do not judge!!!  I think that woman wears a different jacket everyday!  I am constantly complimenting her on her coats!  It is mind boggling the jackets this woman has.  And they have to be EXPENSIVE!! 

She has done two things for me:

1) made me very comfortable with the amount of coats I own.

2) makes me want to go shopping for more!

I can resist the second.  I can’t afford to go shopping at this point in my life.  But I am kind of pleased with the resulting number one conclusion.  I love my outerwear!  And I will wear them happily, guilt free, feeling lovely in them!  Thanks to the woman who has more coats than me!

As for my shoes . . . don’t even think about mentioning it!  I wont think I have a problem until I lose count of them in the thousands and need a custom-built closet.  Like these ladies!

Class Act on Metro Transit

It must have been classy night on the southbound 18 tonight.  I think I missed the memo.  Good thing I was coming from work, or I would have felt underdressed!

It took me a few minutes of looking around to notice that this wasnt the regular crowd.  It was my bus.  Same time, same bus driver. . .   but not the type of people I am used to.  Nothing against folk that take the bus, but you know the people who are riding at 12:30 in the morning.  The angry old homeless man, the dirty old man, the middle aged dude that talks to himself, the young little skinny hoodlum way in the back, the black lady talking too loud on her cell phone (well, she’s always on the bus), the young artsy girl who says hello to everybody (and you wonder if she is old enough to be out that late), and the super quiet tiny latino man.  Always have one super quiet latino, especially on the 18 which travels down Nicollet stopping midway on its trek out of downtown on Lake Street.

These are my late night travelers stuffed into their faceless, nameless stereotype boxes.  And I like that crowd.  That time of night, everyone is generally really nice.  Well . . .  not the angry homeless guy . . .    And everyone is so quiet . . .  well not the loud lady on the phone . . . BUT sooooo much quieter than any other time of day.  Its almost peaceful. . .  relatively . . .

But tonight there was no one talking on their cell phone.  There was no hoodlum in the back.  No scary old man, no homeless, and no artsy chic.  There was a latino, but he was BIG, and wore really nice close, nice shoes. . .   evidently coming from work somewhere as I was.  There was a gorgeous black couple way up the front with their little, and I mean LITTLE, girl in a stroller completely passed out.  It must have been her birthday.  They had two mylar balloons attached to her stroller, a gift bag reading “Happy Birthday” with some sort of stuffed thing trying to fall out of it.  If it was her birthday she must have turned two.  But she was a little two.  And her winter coat with the fur lined hood was WAAAAYYY too big for her.  But she will probably grow into it  nicely as the winter comes and goes.

Mom was passed out too, leaning with her back to the window, head thrown back.  She was a beautiful woman.  And her little girl the cutest thing I have seen since Mariam went back to the big dessert land on the other side of the world.  Dad was also a good looking fellow.  Had the most lovely corn rows I have seen on a guy and a perfectly groomed mustache.  He was trying to stay awake, but kept nodding off, his head lolling forward every few minutes.  They must have had one fun night!

Woman across the way from me had magnificent hair!!!  Braided until the middle of her crown, then left natural and long!!  Except for the color.  A mahogany, or more of a black cherry really, but not all was colored, it was fused in with her black hair, but way more than highlights.  May have been a weave . . .   a really really nice one.   I want to use the word stippled, but I really have no idea how to describe it.  Such a great look.

A few minutes in to my ride another black woman gets on and she put everyone else on the bus to shame as far as class goes!  She was an older woman, heavier.  But lovely!  Probably in her 50’s, though so hard to tell because African Americans age so well! Her hair in a flawless french twist, large tasteful gold hoops and matching bangles on her wrist.  Brown boots I would kill to have in my closet and wrapped up in this shawl in the most gorgeous copper and gold tones.

There was a middle aged man who talked to himself, but even he was cute.  Not in the hot way, but in the arent you adorable I want to know you name and be your secret santa so I can get you something really fun, kind a way.  He was not annoying.  He was super respectful, and seemed to be on good terms with the driver.  Driver spoke to him all familiar as he left and the guy who had been rocking in his seat talking to himself wished the driver a good night as he left.  He was also very clean, clean cut.  Just wearing shorts when it was 50 degrees out, no coat, and had the general demeanor of a 12 year old kid.  A very well mannered 12 year old.

As I pulled the line to request my stop, the super classy lady also stood to get off.  I followed her, exiting the bus and actually called to her, “Ma’am,” I said, “I just want to say how classy you look . . .”  And she just walks off.  I notice she has ear buds in.  She can’t hear me.  I actually give an audible “oh” in disappointment.  When someone looks that good, they should be told.  As I crossed the street heading east, she crossed the street heading south and I thought: I hope someone told her that today.

Actually hope everyone on that bus knows how cool, or adorable, or classy they are.

Shoe School For Men

I have GOT to go on record here . . .  I have stayed silent far too long.   I have watched the disasterous footwear out there for so long, I have admitedly grown partially complacent over the bad desicions and ingnorance out there, mostly from men, on what they should put on their feet.

NO MORE!!  Be warned.  The fashion police are coming to get you!!!  Men, Listen up!!

Just because this world has grown more casual, and in many cases lost respect for appropriate dress, does not mean that when a man wears a suit he can neglect his foot wear.   Something I do not understand:  if you are going to spend good money, or even medicore money, on a man’s suit . . .   why would you not carry your attention down to the detail of your footwear?  Don’t just look in the mirror from the waist up.  What about your shoes?

The choice of footwear is just as important as the choice of hemline, pant style, and the width of your tie.  Things that have also started to slip, if you ask me  . . .  YES, people do look at your feet.  You can tell a lot about somneone by their shoes.

There are many things to consider in a shoe and when it is appropriate to wear certain shoes.  There are fine details of a shoe that make or break it in the formal department.  There is a difinitive scale from casual to most formal.  Pay attention to the upper, the quality of the leather, the shine.  AND POLISH YOUR SHOES!!!   A general rule to remember: the higher the shine, the more formal the shoe.  Patent leather is very formal. 

Pay attention to the laces, how close they are, and for all that is holy in fashion, DO NOT lace them cris-cross like one does with sneakers.  A dress shoe with a suit should be staright-laced (yes that is wear that comes from), as in laced horizontally.  If you do not know how, look it up!  Ian can help you.

The distance between the laces is also a determination of how formal the shoe is.  The distance between the laces is called the crossover.  A wider crossover is a less formal shoe.  That said, a formal shoe has laces!!  A slip on shoe is less dressy.  Now I am a sucker for sexy, modern shoes with a smooth upper, no laces.  And in some environments they work perfectly.    The same goes for a loafer.  A loafer is decidedly casual wear.  You can wear them with a suit, but be selective on the occasion.  The office, maybe a meeting, never dinner.  Add a tassle to that loafer and it just moved down a notch on the casual wear.

Wingtips:  famous, highly common shoe known by the rest of the world as Brogues, that made its way into the everyday scene here in America during the mid 20th century. The wingtip is a semi-formal shoe.  Zappos.com weighs in, “It’s appropriate for a business casual or suited office look, but not for a formal dinner or with a tuxedo. In such circumstances the Oxford is required, although this distinction is often lost in an increasingly casual society.”  A sentiment I highly agree with.

Cap toes are more formal than a wingtip.  A tradition Oxford is the more formal option.  Another easy to remember tip: the less embelishment on the shoe, the more formal the shoe.  If you do not know what these terms and shoes are AskMen.com has a great easy to understand guide to the five most common dress shoe.

As plush as suede might be, as a shoe material, suede is very casual and should NEVER be worn with a suit.  I will repeat this:  Suede shoes should NEVER be worn with a suit.  Wear them as much as you like with trousers and a sport coat . . .   NEVER a suit.

And the big thing that really gets me . . .   the thing that actually spurred on this tutorial: THINK TWICE BEFORE GRABBING YOUR BROWN SHOES!!!!

Brown is not the new black.  It never will be.  Black is always black.  And black is always the more formal shoe.  And the most versitile.  Hogwash to the idea that you cannot wear black with a navy suit.  My father put me straight before I was ten years old.  That saying applies to women, not men, and according to Donna Karan, it doesnt apply to women’s fashion anymore either (though I will be a tough convert).   Black is for most of you men who own three pairs of shoes, is your BEST choice.   

The darker the shoe, the more formal.  If you have a navy suit, get a pair of shoes that REALLY look nice with them.  If you do not want to go black, try a dark burgundy, or an oxblood.  Leave the brown at home.  There are people out there that will tell you a dark brown is ok.  It would have to be REALLY dark, like an espresso.  General rule #3: The shoe should always be darker than the pant.

Leave your brown shoes for brown and tan and olive suits. 

The most ignored aspect of a shoe?  What is the bottom of the shoe made from?  Look at the heal, the arch, and the thickness of the sole.  A rubber soled shoe should never be warn with a suit.  Do I need to repeat that one, or is that common sense enough?  Men all over where clunky, ugly, heavy soled shoes with their suits.  No.  Actually, just get rid of those . . .

No matter what shoe choice you make, solidify it with a matching belt.  Your belt should be as close to the color of your shoes as humanly possible.  In the world of men, you can find a match.  Your color options are not that extensive!

And then when you have the right shoe and matching belt, pay one more ounce of energy to the attention of your socks.  Your socks should match your pant, unless you are wearing a tan suit, or lighter suit, in that case, match your socks to your shoes.

I am sure I have left some things out.  But over all, this should help make your entire look a polished one.  And women, don’t leave it up to your men!  They have no idea what is going on.  Their dad’s didnt teach them, their mother’s didnt teach them.  It is your job.  Don’t you want him to look nice when he’s trying to look nice?

Again, if the effort is being made to put on a suit, make it count.

“The Elderly”

Why do we use the term “elderly”, or “the elderly”, to talk about old people?  The true definition of elderly is not really “old”.   Dictionary.com’s definition reads: “somewhat old; near old age”  AND  “of or pertaining to persons in later life.”   The second definition . . .   how did that come about if the word “elderly” means basically “almost old.”   Have we created a classification of people under the term because its more PC than calling them Blue Haireds or Old People?    Let’s face it, we do not use the term for people who are almost old.  That is reserved for “middle aged.”

I suppose it is important to note there really aren’t good terms to choose in place of “old”.  The thesaurus  at Dictionary.com lists:

“aged, along in years,ancient, broken down,debilitated,decrepit,elderly, enfeebled, experienced, fossil, geriatric, getting on, gray-haired, grizzled,hoary, infirm,mature, matured, notyoung, olden, oldish, over the hill, past one’sprime,seasoned,senile,senior, skilled,superannuated, venerable, versed, veteran, wasted”

Not so pretty . . .  These terms for the most part are awkward, incorrect, clinical or just plain rude.  Can you imagine us referring to the lot as “The Superannuated”?  Not really.

Maybe it has a lot to do with our inability to accept aging.  Or how “old” is so very relative.  There are people of a certain age that it is nearly impossible to see as old or to come close to reconciling them with their age.  Just take one good look at William Shatner.  The man turned 80 this year.  80!!  And he looks 65.

Whether due to botox, plastic surgery, longer life span, more activity in later life, or people’s refusal to grow old, people are staying “younger” longer.  My mother’s parents were OLD when I was little.  My grandparents in their early sixties were OLD.  They looked old, they acted old, they were the proverbial old grandparents.  They spent the last 20 plus years of their lives being old.  My father who hit 62 last year isn’t as old as they were at that age.

Now there is something very cute about the few really old people you run into.  The “elderly”.  They hang on to so many of their habits from yesteryears.  Mom and I were just silly about the cuteness of the old lady we saw on Sunday driving her old car.  I don’t remember what the car was but it was 25 or 30 years old.  And like new!!!  And like a mint green!  Bleck!  Mom pointed out that she more than likely bought that car brand new.  She was so adorable just moseying along, putting her way through the parking lot, driving with her clear plastic rain bonnet on her head tied under her chin.  My grandmother use to wear those!  Goodness . . .   only the elderly . . .

And last night at the restaurant, in comes this OLD couple, shuffling in.  She is just this little thing with white poofy hair, and he is hunched over, now shorter than she, all decked out in his kelly green pants and matching green and pink plaid blazer.  They were so cute!!

And our senior resident had stashed a cookie in her purse for the office manger to take home to her husband. She is 98, I believe, French, walks with a walker, and deaf as all can be.  She knew she had the cookie in her purse, but could not locate it by just sifting through.  So!  Out comes the contents of the purse!  She splays the items on the counter and it’s like Wakko’s bag from Animaniacs.  Out of this tiny bag comes a huge pile of not so small things.  This in itself is comical.

First thing she pulls out, two dinner rolls wrapped in a paper napkin.  She has just come in from being out.  I can assume she had eaten out and wrapped the uneaten bread up, shoved it in her purse to take it home.  Another thing my grandmother did with frequency.  Bread, baked potatoes. . . .   anything.  And no doggie bags, just straight into the purse!

The second thing to be pulled out?  A clear plastic rain bonnet!!!  I do not remember all what else was in that purse, but everything was big and bulky and both seemingly out of place and completely perfect.  She was just too adorable for words in that moment.

I wonder if that genre is a dying bread.  I know my mother won’t be driving a 30 year old vehicle in a rain bonnet, EVER.  The baby boomer generation will probably never turn old as we know it.  We will watch them age, but not the same as we have seen before.  The largest, and noted as the most powerful, generation in American history, have spent their lives completely changing the world around them.  They are activists, having lived through, and built a new world from, the civil rights movement, the anti-war movement during Vietnam, Women’s Rights.  They created a country of economic success, bringing about the bridge from the world of industry into a world of technology.  A world once filled with blue and grey collar workers became one of white collar  dominance.  They changed the idea of middle class.  Blew up the middle class.  This generation holds 80% of the world’s wealth and is responsible for over 50% of consumer spending.

These people will never be what “the Greatest Generation on Earth” was in their old age.  Their parents having lived through The Great Depression and WWII, were hard workers and great people who accomplished great things.  But, the events that molded their children, and who they became, and the world they created is so extremely different, they will be a brand new generation of retirees.  Retirees that might continue to work, and definitely continue to buy, roll with the times rather than get stuck in the times they knew . . .   These people are movers and shakers.  No more rain bonnets and plaid jackets and ancient cars.  Unless its a classic muscle car . . .   a completely different bag.

So . . . with the dying bread, will the term “elderly” eventually die as well?  Will we have to create or adapt a new term to suit the newly molded ideas of “old”?  For some reason, “almost old” still does not fit these folks up and coming into “the elderly” age.